Welcoming a new baby is an incredible, life-changing experience – and it comes with some adjustments. Especially those first three months, when newborns eat every two to four hours and don’t have a circadian rhythm. Most new parents will therefore experience some level of sleep deprivation and exhaustion. A recent survey showed that 98% of parents and carers had experienced sleep deprivation and 59% of parents with babies under a year old said their baby slept for less than four hours at a time.
The impact of sleep deprivation on new parents
The feeling of exhaustion can make everyday life more difficult to cope with especially if you are experiencing loss of concentration and mood swings. It can contribute to relationship conflicts and increases the risk of postpartum depression. Studies have shown that birth parents have a one in five chance of experiencing postpartum depression and anxiety and non-birth parents have a one in ten chance of developing postpartum depression and anxiety.
Depression or anxiety can affect milk production, inhibit bonding, make it harder to tend to your baby’s psychosocial needs and even hinder early childhood development. So don’t neglect yourself. Sleeping isn’t selfish – it’s important for the wellbeing of your whole family.
How new parents can prioritise sleep
Focusing on your own sleep can often be easier said than done, but here are a few tips that can help you get through those first two or three months.
Nap when your baby naps: Prioritise napping over laundry, dishes or other chores. Chores such as laundry can be managed slightly differently. For example, have a dirty basket and a clean basket in each room. No folding of the clean laundry is needed. In that first year, babies rarely wear anything that needs to be ironed.
Ask trusted visitors to hold your baby while you nap: Newborn babies often sleep best when they’re held – one reason why parents don’t get quality sleep. But if a friend or family member can cuddle the baby, you can rest. Often visitors are coming to see the baby and most want to help. So, it’s fine to ask them to have a cuddle with your baby if you want to snatch a quick nap.
Establish a sleep contract: If you live in a two-parent household, or if you have someone to help you care for the baby, split a 10-hour night into two shifts. One person can take 8 p.m. to 1:30 a.m.; the other person can take 1:30 a.m. to 7 a.m. The parent on duty sleeps in the baby’s room – or on a couch, etc. – so their partner can get quality sleep. The partner who is nursing can prepare a bottle before going to bed so it is ready for night feedings
With a sleep contract, your resting hours are still shortened, but at least your body can rely upon a certain amount of quality sleep each night. If you can arrange this so that you’re going to bed at the same time every night, this is more likely to give you quality sleep.
How to ensure your bedroom is set for sleep
When you do go to bed for a rest or sleep, make sure that your bedroom is creating the optimum sleep environment. Here are a few tips to help achieve that:
Keep it dark: Make sure your room has good, lined curtains, so that you are not disturbed by outside light - especially if you are trying to have a nap during the day. You could also consider black out blinds.
Fresh air: If it’s not too cold, try and keep a window open so that air is circulating in the room. The ideal bedroom temperature for sleep is between 16°C and 18°C.
Switch it off: Put away your phone or devices and turn off the TV.
Go natural: Use natural bedding that will help to regulate your temperature whilst you nap or sleep. Wool is ideal for this – and its dust mite resistant too. Find out more about our luxurious, individually handcrafted 100% British wool bedding. It’s natural, sustainable and chemical-free, just as nature intended.
Put your phone away during ‘down time’
Every baby is different so if you do get some ‘down time’, try and avoid scrolling on your phone or device. It doesn’t help to see pictures of how well everyone else appears to be coping with their new baby when you may be finding it hard! The blue light from your screen will also make it harder to sleep.
Worrying about sleep
Spending lots of time in bed wide awake can create a negative association between bed and sleep; your bed can actually become a trigger for not sleeping as you are spending so much time in it, awake and worrying.
Acknowledge the worrying thought, recognise it for what it is – just a thought. Then let it go. Try making notes about everything that you are worrying about and then put the pen down and go and do something you enjoy.
Learn the difference between being sleepy and being tired. Sleepy means you need sleep, tired means you need to quieten your mind by relaxing.
Get help from your doctor or post-natal clinic
After those first months, you will find some equilibrium. But if you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to take advantage of the support that’s available.
If you need any help in choosing one of our natural, sustainable and chemical-free soft bedding products, then please get in touch with the team, who’ll be happy to help.
Disclaimer: Every baby – and every parent – is different. The ideas shared in this blog are simply suggestions that may support rest and wellbeing, but they are not a substitute for your own instincts, experience, or professional advice. Please take what feels helpful, leave what doesn’t, and always do what feels right for you and your baby. You know your little one best.
Ref: Lullaby Trust, NHS, Sleep Foundation